Stressed or Anxious? (Part 1)

Ever since I’d begun this blog, I am hesitant in writing about this topic for the simple reason that while talking about it, I may feel it. Stress and anxiety were two of the not good things in life. Just the word anxiety makes me anxious tbh so let’s see how far I’ll go with this post. I’m hoping that it could be helpful still. Alright…

Since I’m scared of the word “anxiety”, I referred to myself as so stressed whenever I feel anxious. It’s almost the same anyway. Stress is one of the causes of anxiety. When you over think, you get stressed. When you get too stressed, you get anxious. Over thinking, I personally believe, is the main cause of anxiety. Other causes include physical condition, tension (which may also be caused by stress), fearful incidents, and genetics.

Anxiety can be felt mentally, physically, and both. When thoughts come in and in and in, and you feel like you’re losing control over them, that’s anxiety. When your heart’s palpitating with no reason and you feel an unexplainable tension, pain, or any physical sensation, that may also be anxiety. It’s different for everyone. But if you experience it, hey, you’re not alone. Also, don’t worry too much. There are ways on how you can cope with it. You’ll be well. Every episode shall pass.

I’m also hesitant to share this post because I worry that someone I personally know may read it and then, worry about me. Please don’t.

Anxiety, just like other illnesses, can be prevented through the following. A disclaimer though, I’m not an expert; these information were based from my experiences and the things I read.

  • Meditation

Meditation is a form of mind training. Its main purpose is to bring us back to the “now”. It trains the mind to focus in the moment and cut the train of thoughts that do not help us. The concept of meditation is not ignoring thoughts (no matter absurd); it’s about trying not to judge them so that we’ll be able to control them and not the other way around.

I used the mobile application “Calm” to meditate every night. This is basically how you meditate: (1) find a quiet place to sit down, (2) close your eyes and begin to breathe deeply in and out, (3) put all your focus on the flow of your breathing, (4) breathe normally and concentrate on your breathing for 5-10 minutes, (5) bring your focus back in the room you’re in, then (6) gently open your eyes.

  • Gratitude

Anxiety roots from negative thinking and so, to combat it, you need to be positive. I like another mobile app, “Bliss“. It’s an app that allows you to appreciate what you have to increase your happiness and improve the quality of your life. Another disclaimer, I’m not paid by any of these applications. I find them helpful so I’m sharing them with you.

Bliss has many options. You can list three things you’re thankful about daily or just write in a paragraph form the things and people you’re grateful about. You may also re-imagine a not so good situation and turn it into good. Each activity could really help us remove our focus on the things that are not working out, in our lives as well as our daily worries.

  • Rest

So simple yet not all of us does it. I’ve read that we experience anxiety episodes when our bodies were trying to tell us something. My body told me on the last day of 2015 that my blood glucose level is high through an anxiety episode. It’s not always that extreme though. Most of the time, we get anxious because our body needed rest.

We should acknowledge that we also have limitations. A machine will malfunction if used beyond its capability and so will a human body. When you’re tired, rest. You won’t stop, you will just take a break. You don’t have to sleep, you could just take a nap.

  • Pamper Yourself

Each of us needed relaxation. Each of us deserves pampering. Not all of us has the means to go to spas or massage therapists I know. But we definitely can still relax.

Here’s what I do when I pamper myself: (1) clean my nails and paint them, (2) light scented candles [strawberry and grapes] and massage my head, (3) put on face mask, (4) exfoliate my skin with milk salt, and sometimes (5) listen to ASMR through YouTube.

  • Express Yourself

Don’t hold onto your emotions and thoughts. Release them through different mediums. You could write them in your diary, blog about them, or talk to your friends or family about them. You could also indirectly release your stressors through drawing, painting, baking, singing, or any activity that works best for you.

Let it go! Let it go! Don’t hold it back anymore. (Let It Go from Frozen)

  • Yoga

Anyone can do yoga. Everyone should do yoga. Yoga is not only a great physical activity that can help us tone our body, it is also a form of mental training and relaxation. Yoga includes different poses; each focusing on one or more organs of our bodies. It also includes different breathing techniques that could help relieve stress and anxiety.

I do yoga with the help of the mobile apps “Yoga Monkey” and “Sworkit“, and  “Yoga with Adriene”  on YouTube.

  • Workout

There are different workouts that help us become fitter. Aside from their benefits for our body, it also has positive benefits for our thoughts and emotions. Working out may help us clear our mind and whenever we work out, we release endorphins (also referred as “happy hormones”).

I know we tend to be really busy with our daily lives and sometimes we no longer have the energy to workout after a day of work. We can always start small like 5 minutes of warm-up cardio before we head onto the shower every morning. The app “Sworkit” helped me plan my workout routines for every week.

  • Seek God

To me, knowing that there’s someone out there gives me hope and security. I trust that He will always save me from my troubles. I read Bible daily and other devotional books. I also pray all the time.

That’s all for this part. On part 2, I’ll share with you the things we can do when we’re having our visitors.

I want to end this post with my current favorite quote.

*Hey guys, if you are going to comment, please be very careful as I am pretty sensitive. I’d like to be of help by sharing to you the knowledge that I have acquired. For now, that’s all the help I could offer.

I am not fat.

I’m so tired of being called “fat”.

I’ve been fat my whole life and I’ve been teased about it since I could remember. It wasn’t cool, you know? It wasn’t cool to be defined by the weight of your body. Although saddened and extremely pissed at my detractors, I never really did anything about it until I got a problem in my stomach. It was back in high school. My doctor then prescribed me some suplements to help my digestive system digests the food I take in quickly.

Apart from those tablets that I used to take every after meals, I also had some sort of a chocolate shake (it may be a protein shake) which supposedly replace one of my meals every day, ideally dinner. However, I didn’t have any control over my mouth. Especially when our dinner’s just so yummy, who am I to resist? Right?

It’s also super difficult to go on a diet when your entire family loves to eat. Where’s your support, family? So… To conclude my attempt to weight loss, I simply fail miserably. I didn’t really lose any weight. My stomach got well though so… so…

And then here comes the tear-jerking part. I got diabetes. (Cries) No more sweets! No more excessive/binge eating! Control! Control! Control! Hello, nausea, headaches, body pain, energy gap, anxiety, and depression (I won’t go into details on this one, this’ll be on another blog post).

So… My doctor advised me to excercise. My blood was thick due to excessive glucose so I needed to move my body, shake it, and of course watch what I eat to make it normal-or at least close to normal. I did as I was told. I wanted to get well. I hate being sick for I believe when you’re sick, you don’t enjoy life best (which is not really the case).

So… I worked out. Cardio became my best friend. Since I was only a beginner in exercise, I only do 5-10 minutes of cardio with the help of a mobile app. That’s aside from walking every morning for 30 minutes more or less. I was too afraid during those days, tbh, to eat anything. I was clueless (I still am actually) on the food that I could eat. I was afraid all the food in the table would cause a rise in my blood sugar so I only take small portions. I was probably nauseous then because of nutrient deficiency as well.

My weight after a few months had significantly decreased. I think I lost 10 pounds in the first two to three months. That was a lot, isn’t it? My blood sugar also went back to normal, thank goodness!

However… However! I kept on falling after six months. My average blood sugar for four months is above normal, which isn’t good. I was eating food that I knew I wasn’t supposed to. I no longer walk everyday. I don’t workout everyday. I eat a lot again. I don’t lose any more weight.

Sometimes, I get confused with my body. I haven’t still memorized it and the signs it’s giving me. When I’m feeling unwell say for instance, I’m not sure if it’s because my blood sugar is high or low or it’s due to stress. But because I’m diabetic, it’s probably the first option.

Right now, I very really want to get back on track. I want to live life to the fullest and I don’t want family to worry. I also no longer want to be called “fat”. I am not fat! OK, I may still be fat but that won’t be forever.

My goal is to be fitter and most of all, healthier. It’s not going to be easy, that’s no brainer but I’ve already done it before. I would be strong enough to do it again. My journey to being “not fat” has begun.

So uninspired.

Where did January and February go?? I am a bit disappointed with myself for letting time pass me by. I’m still very unproductive. My world still consists of endless YouTube videos, a few TV shows, countless daydreamings, and doing nothing at all but staring at nothing at all. Oh, what have I become? I became a monster! Really. My very own monster. I need to come back as a person.

Yes, I need to be a person again ASAP.

I’m on my third day of my 6-day cardio challenge. To tell the truth, I’ve gained weight and I am blaming my laziness and junk food and fast food. I’ve lost my self-control a bit-no, not just a bit. I’ve succumbed to the sedentary type of life again. Come closer, I’ll whisper something. I haven’t done any morning jog or even walk for a week! A week! Okay, sorry, I shouted at your ear.

Ugh! I wanna spank myself or probably, slap me hard on both-BOTH-cheeks to wake my senses up.

So, I really need to finish my cardio challenge and get back to morning walks. I’ll cut my rice consumption too and junk food. Confession: I’ve brought junk foods yesterday when we went grocery shopping. Anyone want them?

This is it. I got to shake myself up right now and realize that I’m creating possible future problems. I’ll be back on track. Do morning walks, workout at least 30 mins. daily except Sundays, and eat just enough and just what my body needed. No more lounging at the bed from mornings to late afternoons.

I got this!

And while I’m at it, I’ll also start with my project which I posted here. I haven’t yet started ’cause my short story, “A Love Project” took all my attention. I’m also planning to do a compilation of poems, but I’m still 200 poems away from that. 200?! Yes, 200! More or less.

Bye!