Use Your Pains as Motivation

I have been bullied. I have been laughed at. I have been an outcast. I have been rejected. I have been ignored. I have been hurt a lot of times.

I know, we all have been. We all once cry or simply bow our heads. We all had that time when we lose our confidence or it was taken away from us. We have been hurt physically, mentally, and emotionally. We have all been bruised yet we’re all still standing.

Despite all those pains, we are all standing. We are all here, bruised yet alive; bruised yet alive.

We will feel all the pain or some of it at certain times. Something or someone will make us remember those times when we got our hearts broken or torn apart. Those times will surely come not just once… not just once.

What should we do if we reach that point in our lives? We always have a choice. But I hope we always choose to turn our pains into motivations. Let them motivate us to love ourselves more and no longer let anybody or any criticism from anybody affect is. 

Let’s let our pain be our motivation to excel in our lives and be the happiest we can be. Let’s let the pain and all our current and past destructors be our motivations to be strong, strong enough to always choose to forgive rather than hold useless grudges; strong enough to control our emotions rather than let them sweep us away; strong enough to always choose love and peace instead of hate and depair.

Pains, what do you know, could also be positive. It just goes to show how perspective could change everything. Let’s always go on the side that’s best for us. Let’s always choose where light shines and where we can shine the most. 🙂

I am always guilty.

I am so stressed and then I thought, “What is this journal for?”

I hate myself for always being guilty because let’s be honest guilt doesn’t do anything for us but stress us out. I am guilty for leading this kind of life, sedentary.

I am guilty for ignoring my nephew because I want to finish cleaning the house asap. I am guilty for not being a good person, a good daughter, a good sister. I am guilty for not allotting more time worshiping God and for not being 100% sincere when I am worshiping him.

I am guilty for hoarding lots of books that now just rest in my room; I should’ve used the money for more productive things. I am guilty for being guilty over the things I shouldn’t be really guilty about. I feel very guilty for telling people what they’ve done wrong and hurting their feelings unintentionally.

I am guilty for hating life. I am guilty for acting like a motivational person in this blog but the fact is, I am absolutely not. If you’ll know what I do in a day, you’ll be inspired to lay on your bed all day with your phone. I am guilty for being a pretender, pretending that everything’s okay when obviously it’s not.

I am guilty for causing my body to be sick. I am guilty for causing myself to be sad. I am guilty.

I know I need to forgive myself. I know I need to release all these stressors. I know I should give my mind a break.

This is too much for me. If you’re like me, it’s too much for you too. If life’s already unpleasant, let’s no longer add anymore unpleasant thoughts and emotions. Instead, let’s fight out unpleasant life. Giving up ain’t an option.

These days…

There are these days when I am reminded of my disease-diabetes. I woke up with headache, nausea, and body pain. I planned to jog outside but I know I couldn’t. I hate having limitations but what can I do? It’s part of my life now.

There are these days, these days when I can’t help but cry. I couldn’t help but be eaten by regrets again and fears. I couldn’t help but ask, wonder why I should be the one experiencing all these. I am not a bad person. I act stupid or I am tackless at times but I never wish to hurt other people. I know it’s my doing for being like this but won’t I get any help?

There are these days when you just question everything. Why are the bad things keep on happening? Why are my efforts not producing any fruits? Why do I feel unloved? Am I unloved?

There are these days when you just want to succumb to all your heartaches and then give up your hopes.

There are these days when temptations are too strong.

These days…

These days are exactly when we should hold on to our dreams and hopes like we’ve never held them before.

These days are the days when when need to be optimistic and let that optimism grab us and take us out of the mud pit.

These days are the challenges, the obstacles in our lives.

These days are what will make us appreciate the better days…

Why be kind?

I was in the church. I happened to come early. The mass hadn’t started yet. I’d decided to observe people, just one of the things I do to find inspiration for my future stories and for living life in general.

At the first pew, I saw a dad with his daughter. It was not something you see every Sunday. Usually, it’d be a mother-daughter tandem. I thought of a reason why the mother was absent. Maybe, she is sick. Her husband and daughter regularly attend the mass to pray for her healing. They are drawing strength from God. They are keeping their faith despite a huge rock on their road.

At their back was a mother with his little child. The boy was walking back and forth their row. He even went to the aisle and ran there. The mom, pissed, carried the boy and sat him back to their pew. The boy cried and the mom looked even more pissed. Usually, I’d be pissed too because the mom could not manage her child; I would think, she should’ve not brought the child in the church.

But that day, I’d decided to put myself in the mom’s shoes instead. I was so tired. My child is a toddler, very active. He always wants to play, even late at night. I have a lot of things to do at home too. My husband is busy with his job, he couldn’t even help me take care of our son during weekends so I could properly do our laundry. And now, my son’s acting up again. I know I should have not brought him here but I have no one to leave him to while I hear mass. And I can’t pass the Holy Mass.

I smiled.

Then, I had noticed the guy beside me who was looking so annoyed with the noise the crying boy was creating. There were creases in his forehead. I’d also noticed that he had been glancing at his wristwatch over and over again. He was also annoyed that the priest was late, obviously. Instead of judging him, I tried picturing his situation in my mind, as well.

He may be a working student. At weekdays, he is at school doing his best to finish his studies. During weekends, he’s working to fund his studies and help with their expenses at home. His parents had been poor and their jobs do not help them get out of poverty and that’s why he’s working so hard. He wanted to finish his studies, work in a multinational company, and give his family a better life. He knows he needed guidance from above so he’s always attending the mass. However, he’ll be late if the priest does not come any minute now. And the little boy just makes his head ache even more; he wasn’t able to sleep early last night as he had to work overtime.

He caught me staring at him. I smiled. He glanced at his watch for the nth time.

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I’d realized then that each of us is going through some struggles in life and we all need one thing-kindness. We all need a smile from other people. We need an encouraging nod. We need warmth and compassion.

Why be kind? Why not? We don’t know how a simple act of kindness can change one’s life.

Why be kind? Because the world and the people greatly needed it.

Why be kind? Because you want others to be kind to you too. So… Be kind.

*This a creative non fiction, a story based on true-to-life scenarios.

OK lang ang “OK lang.”

Oo naman, kung minsan, kailangan mo talagang ilabas ‘yong nararamdaman mo. Kapag tinanong ka ng “Kumusta?” Pwedeng-pwede mong i-share ang mga problema mo, ang mga worries mo, at ang nararamdaman mong stress. Pero minsan, ayos na rin ang sagot na “OK lang.” kahit ang totoo, hindi.

Bakit? Kasi hindi naman din magtatagal at magiging OK ka lang talaga. Hindi naman tatagal ‘yang mga problema mo, unless tatambayan mo. ‘Yang mga worries mo, wala namang merit ang mga ‘yan sa future mo unless io-overanalyze mo. At ‘yang stress mo, tawanan mo lang ‘yan at mag-relax ka lang, huhupa rin ‘yan.

Kung minsan, ang sagot na “OK lang” means may pinagdadaanan ako pero alam ko naman sa sarili ko na strong ako kaya kung hindi man ako totoong OK ngayon, ayos lang dahil sooner or later, magiging totoong OK rin ako. 

Huwag nang gawing kumplikado ang buhay o ang mga problema. Ikaw lang din ‘yong mahihirapan. Take it from me. Ang bago kong mantra ngayon: “Simplehan lang natin, bes.” 🙂

Happy Valentine’s Day nga pala. Kumusta ang araw mo? Ako, OK lang. OK lang talaga, may family date kami mamaya. Hehe. ❤

Trusting God is the Key to Achieve Peace

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not in your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him and he shall direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:56)

For some of us, life can be overwhelming. Sometimes, we bump into a series of seemingly never ending trials. The path we see is all thorny and foggy and rocky. And we have no other choice but to go through it. Listen; when giving up is the easiest thing to do, that is exactly when you should not do it. You are strong. We are all made strong.

The above verses are my favorites. They pull me back whenever I get overwhelmed with my life’s troubles. Proverbs 3:5-6 keep me grounded. Trust in God is the best decision one could made.

He, up there, knows what’s happening in your life. He knows your happiness and your sorrows, your strengths and your fears, your hopes and regrets. God knows us more than we know ourselves and that’s why we should trust in him. He knows that we can carry on and face whatever obstacles are in front of us. If they’re too much, he’s very much willing and ready to send in help.

Ask God. Talk to him if you feel like everything’s just too much for you. And listen too. Have a quiet moment to just listen to him. Maybe, he’s encouraging you to go on. Maybe, he wants you to pause for a while. Maybe, he will comfort you. For sure, he will be there always for all of us.

We are not meant to understand everything that is happening in our lives or in other people’s lives so there’s really no need to desire to know it all. We are supposed to put our trust to him who truly knows it all.

Let us let go of all the things we do not need, the things that don’t make us feel happy or feel good. Let’s let go of the things that only add to the weight that we carry on our shoulders. They aren’t worth carrying or even thinking about.

We can do it! Life’s good. Life’s beautiful.

Behind the clouds is the sun still shining. (Henry Wadsworth Longfellow)

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