A Love Letter

Hey. How are you? I hope you’re good. No, I hope you’re doing great. I hope you’re happy. Maybe, this letter could make you smile. I hope it would.

I write to tell you how I admire you. I admire your strength, your strength to always stay in the good side despite all those temptations. You are strong. I hope you know that. I know you’ve been through a lot but still, you haven’t lost your kindness and good nature. Hey, give yourself more credit. I feel like you don’t because I always catch you in a bitter mood.

Another thing that make me admire you is your resilience. I know it’s difficult for you to do what you’re doing yet you keep on doing them the best that you can. You don’t give up. Maybe, sometimes, you already want to shout or cry but you do not. I guess it’s because you know it wouldn’t do you good so you just choose to be positive at all times. That’s admirable. Really. But don’t forget to give yourself a break too, okay?

I sometimes catch you being too serious. It’s funny, but I don’t laugh I promise. Just, just don’t take everything seriously. I would love to see you laugh. I would love to know that you’re happy, truly happy. That being said, I sometimes notice how unreal your smiles are. I just feel they’re off. I want you to smile and to laugh but if you’re only faking it, then better not do it. I know you’re not perfect and I think I’ll also like it if you would express your sadness. It’s also for you. You have to let go of those not so pretty emotions.

I love you. I love you that’s why I want you to be truly happy whatever that means for you. I love you and I wish you would also find your happiness. I love you and I hope you would appreciate yourself more and please take care of yourself more. Always remember that you’re loved. Even if everyone leaves you, know that I will remain. God will always be with you, too. We got your back, my dear self.

Think about you, too.

She was thinking about the chaos in her country. A group of terrorists attacked and almost got a hold of an entire city. It has been days and yet the war still goes on. There are still some civilians trapped in the area.

She was thinking of her family. They are not currently in the best condition. Being unemployed bother her and she feels like she’s no use in their house. She was also thinking about other people and how they view her and how they may judge her for her life decisions.

She was thinking too much. She was thinking a lot but snap! Why was she not thinking about herself?

For how many times, I’ve talked about how life can get painful. I’ve also talked about self-love. Sadly, when the former becomes too much, the latter hides behind the curtains. We tend to forget about ourselves when utter chaos hit our world. Actually, even the act of thinking too much about so many things is in itself destructive to ourselves.

If the things you worry about need your attention, let me tell you and so do you. Other people can attend to those other things but who will attend to you? It should be you too.

What we should do is to detach. Think about you and detach from everything else for a while. Detach and de-stress. Give yourself a permission to do these not just because you want to but because you need too. We all need to relax and re-energize.

Whatever would make you feel relaxed is up to you. You do it. You do it, especially during those times when it seems to be the least important thing to do because your plate is full. If you miss to find relaxation during those times, stress may build up in you.

Just don’t forget about yourself. Go backstage every time you have a chance, and do what you could do there to give yourself the love and care that you need and deserved.

On Letting Go

We all have a past that we want to forget, a past that we regret, a past that we wish never happened, a past that we wish we could change, and/or a past we that we never wanted to end. We all do. We all do.

Past. It’s where most of our pains root. It’s where we left parts of ourselves that we wish to have back. It’s where our hearts got broken. It’s where our tears dropped.

Past. In other words, done. In other words, unexchangeable. In other words, let it go.

Letting go, as we all know, is vital in life but is also extremely difficult. First of all, how to start? How to start accepting what had been done without confronting the pain again? How to start forgetting what had been said? How to stop regretting? It’s way, way difficult that anyone could ever anticipate.

Letting go can be a long, long process. A long, long emotional battle. A long mental struggle. It’s tiring. It’s tiring.

But, it’s vital. Let’s always go back to that. It’s vital. Letting go is vital in living the present. Live in the present, they said. But actually, before you could really do that, you have to let go of your past first. Otherwise, the past will mess around with the present.

So, what can we do to let go of the past?

  1. Forgive ourselves.
  2. Forgive others.
  3. Forgive life.

And again, these three promised to be such grueling processes. But think about them. Think about their importance.

Tonight, I’ll be praying for us. May we finally learn to let go of our pasts by being able to do those three difficult steps. Then, after we let go, may we be more open to love ourselves, to love others, and to love life.

Sino ka?

Sa tingin ko, ang pinakaimportanteng dapat magawa ng isang young adult ay ang kilalaning mabuti ang sarili niya. Alamin kung ano ba talagang gusto niya, kung ano ang makakapagpasaya sa kaniya, kung sino talaga siya.

Dapat nating malaman kung sino ba talaga tayo…

Sino ba talaga ako?

At kapag nalaman na natin kung sino talaga tayo, pakiramdam ko hindi na tayo maaapektuhan ng kahit anong pangungutya pero ang mas importante doon, magiging confident na tayo.

Confidence. Hindi lang mawawala ‘yong hiya natin kung hindi magiging confident din tayo na umalis sa comfort zone natin para magsimulang maglakbay sa path na gusto natin. Confidence… Confidence to make big decisions… Confidence to mold our life as how we want to… Confidence and strength to stand up with our own feet.

Kapag kilala natin ang sarili natin, hindi tayo malilito. Hindi tayo maghahanap ng kasagutan kung saan-saan sa tanong ng buhay na: ano ba ang gusto mong marating? Kapag kilala natin ang sarili natin, alam na rin natin kung paano ifu-fulfill at pasasayahin ang mga sarili natin.

Alam ko mahirap din talaga. Pero siguro, dapat nating mag-effort. Gaya kung paano tayo nag-e-effort kapag may taong gusto tayong makilala, pagtuunan din nating ng oras at effort ang pagkilala sa ating mga sarili.

Sino ba ako? Ano bang gusto ko? Anong ayaw ko? Bakit ako galit? Bakit ako malungkot? Bakit ako masaya? Paano pa ako mas sasaya? Paano ko masasabing kontento na ako?

At sa bawat tanong na nasasagutan, matuto tayong tanggapin ang mga katotohanan. Huwag mong i-expect na perpekto ka. Mayroon at mayroon siguradong hindi ka magandang katangian na maaari mo namang baguhin. Mayroon at mayroon ka siguradong matutuklasang kahinaan mo na maaari mong i-improve.

Kilalanin mo ang sarili mo. Tanggapin mo ang sarili mo. Mahalin mo ang sarili mo. Then, I believe dahan-dahan, unti-unti, magiging maayos na din ang lahat. Ika nga, “…start with yourself.”

Use Your Pains as Motivation

I have been bullied. I have been laughed at. I have been an outcast. I have been rejected. I have been ignored. I have been hurt a lot of times.

I know, we all have been. We all once cry or simply bow our heads. We all had that time when we lose our confidence or it was taken away from us. We have been hurt physically, mentally, and emotionally. We have all been bruised yet we’re all still standing.

Despite all those pains, we are all standing. We are all here, bruised yet alive; bruised yet alive.

We will feel all the pain or some of it at certain times. Something or someone will make us remember those times when we got our hearts broken or torn apart. Those times will surely come not just once… not just once.

What should we do if we reach that point in our lives? We always have a choice. But I hope we always choose to turn our pains into motivations. Let them motivate us to love ourselves more and no longer let anybody or any criticism from anybody affect is. 

Let’s let our pain be our motivation to excel in our lives and be the happiest we can be. Let’s let the pain and all our current and past destructors be our motivations to be strong, strong enough to always choose to forgive rather than hold useless grudges; strong enough to control our emotions rather than let them sweep us away; strong enough to always choose love and peace instead of hate and depair.

Pains, what do you know, could also be positive. It just goes to show how perspective could change everything. Let’s always go on the side that’s best for us. Let’s always choose where light shines and where we can shine the most. 🙂

Accept Yourself

I knew that it is extremely important to love yourself and forgive yourself for all your mistakes. I hadn’t realized that it is also of utmost importance to accept yourself, first actually before you do the other two.

I’ve always been shy. I lack self-confidence and so, I don’t know how to carry myself. I don’t know how to talk people. I have no idea how I can make friends. I just realized that it’s not really because people don’t like me. It is mainly because I don’t like myself and then I just assumed that everyone doesn’t too. Sad, right? I’ve been too hard on myself. I deprived myself of happiness, of joy.

Yes, we all need to strive to be better persons but vitally I believe, we have to learn to accept ourselves first as we are. We have to accept our weaknesses, and not just be proud of our strengths. We have to accept that we’ve failed, and not just proudly accept our recognitions and accomplishments. We have to accept that we could do others wrong, just like how they could do the same to us. We have to truly accept that we are way, way, way… far from the word “perfect”.

It’s difficult, I should know, to accept your flaws. It’s difficult to accept that your body is not as fit as how you wanted it to be, no matter how huge the effort you allot for it. It’s difficult to accept that your eyes are not as big or not as small, your nose is not as pointed, your lips is not as thin or as thick, your face is not shaped… as you wanted. We’ll always have fantastic visions in our mind of what could have been, not only on our physicality, but then again, there are simply things that we cannot change. And even if we can change them, we have to accept them first.

Even the life’s most excruciating experience demands acceptance, for what else would it demand other than that? And so do you… And so everyone of us. If you love someone but not accept them fully, could you really call it love? If you forgive someone for the wrong they did to you but don’t accept them, could you really call it forgiveness?

Maybe, just like me, you’re struggling with your life right now. And maybe, just like me, you very much needed self-acceptance. I know the process will not be easy and it may take a while but I also know-and believe with all my heart-that it will be worth it.

Stressed or Anxious? (Part 2)

On part 1, I talked about what I know anxiety is and the ways that can help us prevent it or prevent anxiety episodes or anxiety attacks or panic attacks. On this part, I want to share with you the thing when I do when I am so stressed out and anxious.

Anxiety is like any other illnesses. We need to get through some tough times. We also need to take extra care of ourselves and when we experience attacks or when our “visitor” came, we got to do something. If I am having headaches, I drink paracetamol. If the visitor visited me, here are the things that I do. A disclaimer: I am not any expert, okay? What worked for me may not for everyone else.

  • Acupressure

This is very helpful when you’re out, in a public place for instance. When you felt the visitor, you can press the pressure points that may help relieve it. Refer to finebalanceacupuncture.com to know these points.

Using your knuckles, you can also try gently tapping the top of your head in a rhythmic manner to lead your visitor out the door.

  • Breathe

This was what my diabetes doctor told me, when I’m having my visitor, I can get a brown bag and breathe in it. According to him, the air I exhale should also be what I inhale. Get a brown bag and cover your nostrils and mouth with it; make sure no air’s coming out or in. Breathe in the bag through your mouth for 10-15 minutes.

There are also a lot of mobile applications that offer anxiety relief using different breathing exercises. Check them out. I suggest that you also read on their reviews just so you’d see that you’re never alone in this. The apps I’ve used were “Prana Breath” and “SAMapp“. The latter is also a great application that may help you understand anxiety better.

Without the help of anything, you can also breathe deeply on your own accord. Concentrate on your breathing as you deep in and out slowly and deeply. Count your breaths to deepen your concentration and get away with the visitor.

  • Mind Games

The main purpose of this is to distract our minds. Download mind games on your phone. I personally like Sudoku and Word Search, but Sudoku works better for me. Choose something really challenging.

  • Focus Elsewhere

If your phone’s not available to help you, just focus on whatever thing you can see. Examine that thing like as if you’ll be writing a dissertation about it. What is it? What color is it? Is it soft or rough; huge or small; round or whatever? What does it do? Done examining it yet you still feel the visitor? Find something else.

  • Talk

You could either tell someone that you’re stressed and then talk about it or start a conversation with someone about the first thing you’re able to think of apart your visitor. I hope both or either can help you.

  • Pray

When you don’t have someone to talk to, pray. I pray the rosary and recite a prayer in my mind over and over again. Sometimes, I write my prayers. This one’s very helpful to me. Have the faith and pray. Believe that all will be well.

After an episode, learn to stand up. Don’t be afraid that another one will come up. Stand up; rise up every after a fall. We can do it.

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. (Confucius)

It’s difficult to be strong, I should know, but all the time, it is possible. Yes?
It is also extremely important to keep a positive mindset. I know it’s not easy. It’s like drinking a really bitter medicine or going through painful operations when you have other diseases. It’s difficult yet a must. We’ll get better. Everything will be better. Believe

If there are a million reasons to be afraidthere are a billion reasons not to be.
*Hey guys, if you are going to comment, please be very careful as I am pretty sensitive. I’d like to be of help by sharing to you the knowledge that I have acquired. For now, that’s all the help I could offer.