Her tears weren’t ready to fall.
But they did.
I’m tired. I’m tired of being sad. I feel empty. I want to talk to someone but I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to express this sadness. I want to say something. I want to turn this sadness into a beautiful narrative but I cannot. I simply cannot…
I just hope after I finished crying, somehow, some ways, the sadness would decrease. I don’t want my tears to run out while my sadness lingers. No, I would never want that.
Maybe, I’m sad. Maybe, the feeling of being alone gets to me right now. Maybe, I’m lonely right now. Maybe, I’m wishing to have friends… friends… friends who truly care. Maybe, I don’t need people who needed someone who’s willing to listen but is never willing to do the same. Maybe, I am tired of being a friend. Maybe, right now it’s me who badly needed one.
I’m tired. I’m tired of always being the one who must understand. I’m tired of being misunderstood, misheard, or ignored. I’m tired of being the girl in the background. I’m tired of having to do the most difficult job yet not having any credit at all. I’m tired of doing someone a favor. Can I… Can I be the one to ask a favor right now?
I’m deeply tired of loving people who don’t love me back. It’s tiring to extend my patience over and over again; to bend myself, my principles, my priorities for other people. I’m sick of being used over and over again. I’m sick and tired of caring too much… for people who do not deserve it. Can someone care about me too for once? Please?
It’s sad to have a glimmer of hope that simple die down in the end. It’s tiring to face disappointments over and over again, and pains… and pains that I’ve promised myself I’ll never feel again. But I did and honestly, they stink more and more, instead of being bearable, as time passes by.
Maybe, I’m just tired. Maybe, my life isn’t that bad. Maybe, I seriously need someone… someone who’s going to try his best to understand me, who’s going to go out of his way for me, who’s going to listen willingly, who’s going to care lovingly. Maybe… Is it all a may and a be? Probably.