My Cup of Tea

When I’m tensed, I turn to my cup of tea. I boil some water. Don’t use recycled. Freshly boiled water is always the best. I drop the tea bag with the freshest tea leaves into my cup, and gently pour the boiling water. Pouring the water is already a therapy in itself for me. I love hearing its soft sizzles as it forms a new shape in the cup and gains a new colour, a lovely brownish-greenish colour.

Then, I leave my cup of tea in the table with floral cloth in it, a lovely floral design of many shades. I leave it in there just for a couple of minutes. I don’t prefer a bitter-tasting tea.

Once I return, I make sure to take out the bag. I sit in the perfectly finished wooden chair with engraved swans in it. I take the cup and smell the freshly brewed tea. I even close my eyes and smiling is one thing I cannot not do. Finally, I sip my cup of tea and savor the taste in my lips.

My cup of tea is one of the things that give me ease. It relaxes every tension in my body, and gives my mind some peace. I treasure moments with my cup of tea. To you, it’s just a simple cup of tea while for me, it’s a dose of my much needed serenity.

I am not in love.

They say I’m in love because of the way I bat my lash, the way my eyes spark, and the way I flash a smile. They say I’m in love for the way I talk’s sweet as choco pops, and the way I stare’s dreamy and soft. They say I’m in in love for my movement’s smooth and it’s like I’m always in a dance.

No, I am not in love.

If I’m in love, my eyes would have bags and not sparks. If I’m in love, my body would be too stiffed and always tensed. If I’m in love, there’ll be tears between my lash. If I’m in love, my smiles would be fake. If I’m in love, I don’t think I’d be able to even talk clearly.

Nope, there’s an absolute no way that I’m in love.

My heart would only beat fast after my cardio. I would not have the giggles, only frowns. My mind would think about million things per second and not only a single whoever every second. My phone’s filled with nothing but my photos. I am not stalking anybody in social media. I am not dreaming to be anybody, nor do I dream that I’m with somebody.

Then, do I wish to be in love?

If it would help with my stories, perhaps I would. If it would help with my loneliness, perhaps I would. If it won’t, no thank you. No, thank you.

Some Mornings…

Her alarm goes on. She wakes up. She feels body pain. She taps the dismiss button. She goes back to sleep.

There are these mornings when she’s out of it. Her body’s tired and wanting more attention. Her body’s flawed in so many levels. It gets tired a lot. It gets sick. It is sick. Pains arise, some profound. That’s just part of who she is.

She wakes up again. Still, the pain is there. She doesn’t want to stay in bed for long though. She knows it will only make the matters worse. She has to fight and the battle is long and many. She always has to fight.

She prays. She tells him what she’s feeling and that she’s scared. Sometimes, she gets mad. She hates being sick. Other times, she just goes by it as she does not have any choice anyway.

Finally, she manages to break out of her bed. Her body’s sore yet she has to emerge from the pain and start her day… and seize the day. She has to. She closes her eyes and meditates. She hopes for the pain to decrease. Sometimes, it does. Other times, it’s the other way around.

She makes her bed. She stands up feeling a bit woozy but she cannot let that feeling get into her. She has to fight. She opens the door. She knows that the day’s gonna be longer. Ready or not, she goes out of the room with hopes of getting better and a lot more. Hope… It keeps her going.

Floating in the pool

With a lifesaver on, I jumped into the pool. The water was not too cold. It was just cold enough to diminish the heat that my body caught the entire day. The heat of the sun was scorching then.

Or maybe, I didn’t really jump. I just carefully stepped down the tiled stairs until the blue water kissed my feet. I shivered a little when I came in contact with it. I hoped they didn’t put too much chlorine.

In the pool which was 4 feet deep, I believe, I was surrounded my familiar companions. But, they were busy doing their own thing. Some were splashing water with each other. Others were simply swimming at their very own style.

I never knew how to swim. I once almost drown in the beach. But I also never hated the water or feared it to the point where I no longer want to thread it. So, I moved a little bit farther from the stairs. On the space I was able to grab for myself, I started lying.

Slowly yet surely, I lay in the water like as if I was laying in a soft but still bed. I felt the water wash my hair. I let my ears get soaked in it. Once I was settled, ever so gently, I closed my eyes. Ever so gently, I search for peace. Ever so gently, I shut the rest of the world… at least in my mind.

I wouldn’t forget the feeling. I don’t want to forget the feeling, especially the peace. It was bliss. I was surrounded by people but I didn’t let myself feel the crowd. That moment, it was just me… just me.

The waves, I felt. Due to others’ constant movements, the water flowed. My lifesaver flowed with it, and so did I. I went with the flow unmindfully. I went with the flow fearlessly… Fearlessly. That was my favorite part of the moment, I was fearless.

I inhaled peace while my eyes were closed, and exhaled my fears. That moment, I just let go. I let go and let be. While floating in the pool, my mind was at ease and so is my entire body, and so is my entirety. What a moment that is…

I wish I can hug you.

I wish I can hug you.

So that you may stop trembling.

I wish I can whisper into your ears,

“It’s okay.”

I wish I can comfort you.

Though I may not understand it fully,

I know that you are in pain.

Dear Earth, I know you’re stressed. Like us, people living around you, you also experience difficult circumstances. You experience abrupt changes in temperature ever so often; you’re probably experiencing things that you haven’t known before. Sorry. Sorry for I understand that it could be our fault. We destroy you.

I can almost hear your cries.

I can almost feel how exhausted you are…

How you’d like to collapse…

How you simply want to release all the weight…

How you wanted to give up.

But please, do not.

I love you. Many of us love you. Although it’s true that a lot of us chooses to hurt you, rather than take care of you. I know you’re tired of taking care of us, of looking after us despite us, not being able to do the same. I’m sorry. I’m sorry we cause you a lot of troubles and a lot of damages. I’m sorry that you’re beyond repair. I’m sorry that you’ve lost most of your beauty.

Will it be too much to ask you

To be strong…

To remain strong

For all of us?

We get scared when you shake, Earth. I know it means a lot of us may get gurt. It also means that we’re about to lose our precious possessions. You’ve been protecting us for so long, I do know that. But, we have nothing else to cling onto but you. So please, please be strong…for us.

I wish I could hug you.

I wish I could stop you from trembling.

I wish I could promise you that everything will be better soon.

I wish I could caress you and wipe your tears.

I wish I could convince you to be strong…

And to stop shaking.

I wish that you won’t ever give up on us…

And for us.