I am so stressed and then I thought, “What is this journal for?”
I hate myself for always being guilty because let’s be honest guilt doesn’t do anything for us but stress us out. I am guilty for leading this kind of life, sedentary.
I am guilty for ignoring my nephew because I want to finish cleaning the house asap. I am guilty for not being a good person, a good daughter, a good sister. I am guilty for not allotting more time worshiping God and for not being 100% sincere when I am worshiping him.
I am guilty for hoarding lots of books that now just rest in my room; I should’ve used the money for more productive things. I am guilty for being guilty over the things I shouldn’t be really guilty about. I feel very guilty for telling people what they’ve done wrong and hurting their feelings unintentionally.
I am guilty for hating life. I am guilty for acting like a motivational person in this blog but the fact is, I am absolutely not. If you’ll know what I do in a day, you’ll be inspired to lay on your bed all day with your phone. I am guilty for being a pretender, pretending that everything’s okay when obviously it’s not.
I am guilty for causing my body to be sick. I am guilty for causing myself to be sad. I am guilty.
I know I need to forgive myself. I know I need to release all these stressors. I know I should give my mind a break.
This is too much for me. If you’re like me, it’s too much for you too. If life’s already unpleasant, let’s no longer add anymore unpleasant thoughts and emotions. Instead, let’s fight out unpleasant life. Giving up ain’t an option.