Pink clouds

I woke up feeling anxious. I had a nightmare. A red helicopter suddenly appeared and it went inside the house and almost crushed me. The pilot wanted to kill me.

I let myself calm down for a moment. Then, I went outside for my morning walk.

It was pretty windy. The ground was wet due to last night’s heavy rain, which even resulted to power interruption. It was just 5 am.

I picked a flower that had fallen from its tree. It was a white angel. I thought it’ll be my companion for today’s walk. But, I dropped it. I felt a bit disappointed yet I proceeded, my heart a bit heavy.

Then, I turned around. I turned around to go back home. I turned around and saw the clouds. They were pink. Not all of them but up there was a mixture of different shades of blue, a hint of yellow, and pink. It was a beautiful sight.

The clouds somehow brought me the peace that I needed. And right that moment, I became certain that Someone up there is really looking after me. He knew that I wasn’t feeling well. He knew that I needed comfort. He knew that my favorite color is and will always be pink.

My Cup of Tea

When I’m tensed, I turn to my cup of tea. I boil some water. Don’t use recycled. Freshly boiled water is always the best. I drop the tea bag with the freshest tea leaves into my cup, and gently pour the boiling water. Pouring the water is already a therapy in itself for me. I love hearing its soft sizzles as it forms a new shape in the cup and gains a new colour, a lovely brownish-greenish colour.

Then, I leave my cup of tea in the table with floral cloth in it, a lovely floral design of many shades. I leave it in there just for a couple of minutes. I don’t prefer a bitter-tasting tea.

Once I return, I make sure to take out the bag. I sit in the perfectly finished wooden chair with engraved swans in it. I take the cup and smell the freshly brewed tea. I even close my eyes and smiling is one thing I cannot not do. Finally, I sip my cup of tea and savor the taste in my lips.

My cup of tea is one of the things that give me ease. It relaxes every tension in my body, and gives my mind some peace. I treasure moments with my cup of tea. To you, it’s just a simple cup of tea while for me, it’s a dose of my much needed serenity.

Morning walks

Before my alarm clock goes on, my brain comes alive. That’s what has been happening for days. Then, I’ll feel the urge to pee and so, I’ll begin to open my eyes.

I love mornings. By 5:10 am, I’ll be outside. I will be putting on my deep blue slippers with golden straps. I’ll start walking. The first thing I notice is the weather. Is it windy? Is it already warm? I always hope that it’s windy.

I’ll walk. I’ll be hearing different sounds from neighbors’ televisions, from a washing machine, from dogs, from a sizzling pan probably with eggs, from the few early risers. I’ll also smell different fragrances, some nice, others you know what. Oh, I’d also be hearing the noise from various vehicles. I sometimes get blinded by their lights, and annoyed honestly. There were those days, though, when there were only a few of them. Oh, how I long for those kinds of mornings.

I love peaceful morning walks. It’s always nice to watch the sky as it change its color from midnight blue to orange, pink, and then a bright blue. It’s also nice to look at my lefts and rights which are surrounded by trees of various kinds. I could imagine them greeting me as their leaves wave and dance with the wind.

I salute those who walk with me. The struggle of getting up from a comfortable bed is real for everyone. Aside from the walkers, there are also the bikers. To be honest, bikers outnumber the walkers. To be honest, at times, I envy how fast and far bikers can go.

And of course, I could never ignore the chirps of the birds… and the birds. They fly from one place to another while the sun’s making its way up the Earth or technically, when our planet’s rotating towards the sun. I once called the birds my morning walk buddies.

I do envy these little folks’ ability to fly. I’d like to ask them if they ever envy our ability to walk. Oh, those birds, they never get tired of flying. They inspire me to never get tired of walking. I always enjoy watching them even if they could give me a stiffed neck.

Although I enjoy walking, taking in the world we live in, touching the ground beneath us, and feeling peaceful; I always find myself looking forward to returning home. And then while I’m on my way home, I always catch myself looking forward for tomorrow’s morning walk…

Floating in the pool

With a lifesaver on, I jumped into the pool. The water was not too cold. It was just cold enough to diminish the heat that my body caught the entire day. The heat of the sun was scorching then.

Or maybe, I didn’t really jump. I just carefully stepped down the tiled stairs until the blue water kissed my feet. I shivered a little when I came in contact with it. I hoped they didn’t put too much chlorine.

In the pool which was 4 feet deep, I believe, I was surrounded my familiar companions. But, they were busy doing their own thing. Some were splashing water with each other. Others were simply swimming at their very own style.

I never knew how to swim. I once almost drown in the beach. But I also never hated the water or feared it to the point where I no longer want to thread it. So, I moved a little bit farther from the stairs. On the space I was able to grab for myself, I started lying.

Slowly yet surely, I lay in the water like as if I was laying in a soft but still bed. I felt the water wash my hair. I let my ears get soaked in it. Once I was settled, ever so gently, I closed my eyes. Ever so gently, I search for peace. Ever so gently, I shut the rest of the world… at least in my mind.

I wouldn’t forget the feeling. I don’t want to forget the feeling, especially the peace. It was bliss. I was surrounded by people but I didn’t let myself feel the crowd. That moment, it was just me… just me.

The waves, I felt. Due to others’ constant movements, the water flowed. My lifesaver flowed with it, and so did I. I went with the flow unmindfully. I went with the flow fearlessly… Fearlessly. That was my favorite part of the moment, I was fearless.

I inhaled peace while my eyes were closed, and exhaled my fears. That moment, I just let go. I let go and let be. While floating in the pool, my mind was at ease and so is my entire body, and so is my entirety. What a moment that is…

Psalm 23

One of the most popular chapter in the Bible is Psalm 23. It was written by the shepherd turned king, David, who bravely defeated Goliath. Psalm 23 is also one of my favorite chapter in the Holy Book. I find the words calming, especially when I’m distressed.

The Lord is my shepherd. I have everything I need.

The Lord, like a shepherd to a herd of sheep, looks after us and attends to our needs. Without our shepherd, we’re nothing but a confuse, hungry, thirsty, and scared herd of sheep. When we get lost, the Lord looks for us; he doesn’t stop looking for us and waiting for us to come back to him.

He lets me rest in fields of green grass. And leads me to the quiet pools of fresh water.

The Lord knows our needs; he knows when we’re already tired or when we’re thirsty. He knows that we’ve been working our best each day and that we deserve a break. God gave us not just fields of green grasses and flowers, he gave us a beautiful world filled with his amazing creations on where we could lie down, roll down, and live. He not only gave us a pool of fresh water, but he also gave us seas and seemingly never-ending oceans.

He gives me new strength.

Every morning, God gave us new strength to go through the entire day. He gives us the strength to do our duties, to serve him, and to take care of his creations including ourselves.

He guides me in the right paths as he has promised.

Our shepherd leads us to the right paths. Even though some of us disobey him and try to go our own ways, he never stops chasing us and leading us back to the path we meant to cross. We need to put our trust in him. He knows what’s best for us so whatever he allows to happen in each of our lives has purposes.

Even if I walk through the deepest darkness, I will not be afraid, O Lord, for you are with me. Your shepherd’s rod and staff protect me.

No one else can give us the protection that’s so great. The Lord looks after us, although it’s not what it seems to be at times. He allows us to pass dark alleys, I believe, to help us strengthen our faith in him. So, if you’re going through some tough times right now, don’t forget to pray. Whatever happens, God got you.

You prepared a banquet for me where all my enemies can see me. You welcomed me as an honored guest and filled my cup to the brim.

For everyone who follows him, God gives nothing but the best. He will not deprive us of the things we deserve. If he isn’t giving you what you’ve been asking yet, don’t lose your patience. God loves surprising us in the best ways.

I know that your goodness and love will be with me all my life. And your house will be my home as long as I live.

God’s love is the greatest. God’s love is the reason why we’re here. God’s love is what should always make us feel grateful, faithful, and hopeful. When everything else is gone, God’s love remains.

And because God loves all of us, he’s kind to us. He gives us our needs, he looks after us, he guides us, he protects us, he answers our prayers, and he’ll never ever abandon us.

All we have to do is trust in him. Let’s be faithful to God and surely, he’ll reward us with things so unimaginably awesome. ❤

What is Contentment?

While we were helping our mom make banduria bags, I told my sister, “This is it. This is our life from now on. This is what we’ll be doing. This is it.” I wasn’t sure if I was only joking.

Three years… I’ve been out of school for three years. From when I was 4 years old until I was 20 years old, my life was school. I spent my time out of school doing things for school. It was all academical. I had a goal and that was to finish school. I didn’t realize that I had to make another one before I achieved that goal or else, I’ll be lost. Lost…

I’ve been lost for three years. I didn’t know what to do with my life. It was a shame that I never took my parents seriously when they were asking what my plans are after I graduated. I just thought I’ll go with the flow. The thing is I lost the “flow”. Lost…

“Lost” is not a good word. It means you don’t know where to go next and you’re confused. But when I told my sister that day that, “This is it.” Somehow, I felt found. Somehow, I got to touch the tip of the word “contentment”.

I am a graduate of BS Industrial Engineering. All my college classmates are employed. Most of them work in a manufacturing setting while a few chose to be in the academe. There were also some who chose to leave the country for probably better career opportunity abroad. And then there’s me, a home person who helps her mom make banduria bags. No, no, no, I snapped. This is not what contentment is. “Comparison” is not in “contentment”, albeit both start with “co”.

Contentment… It’s a nice word, isn’t it? Beside it, you’ll find happiness, joy, bliss, love, peace, and gratitude. Oh, what lovely set of words!

I haven’t fully grabbed the word yet but at least, I could touch some parts of it as of the moment. “Acceptance” definitely has something to do with it. I’m accepting my fate. Success is not always important anyway. It’s not the icing of the cake; I believe contentment is. Then, happiness comes when you taste it. Hmm…

That’s all from me for now. 🙂

Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of what you already have.

Take Time to Heal

It’s hard to be strong all the time. It’s harder to feign being strong all the time.

If you think it’s wrong to be weak. You’re wrong. It’s normal. Life is hard; it is a total bitch sometimes. It’s reasonable to be tired, to be sick of it, to be depressed about it, to be frightened by it, to be mad about it. Surrendering to your weakness does not mean you will surrender to it forever. It only means that you’ve been strong long enough. It is okay to give yourself a break.

It’s much, much better to acknowledge that you’re weak and then heal yourself than pretend that you’re strong and you can do everything and then wear yourself out in the process until you collapse or explode.

If you are not well right now, acknowledge it. Admiting to yourself that you have weakness is the first vital step in healing. Then, take time-all the time you need to heal.

Give yourself the serenity to find peace. You could find it on activities that you used to do but lost the time to do them, or on people who you used to talk to but you became too busy to reach out to them, or at places that you’ve been before or not, or on things that you love and enjoy.

In order to heal, you don’t have to pause your life. You don’t have to stop attending your classes or resign from your job. You just need to slow down

S    l    o    w       d    o     w     n   .  .   .

Be more present. Consider if the things you do or you allot your time to still serve you. Are the things you do really important or are they already destructive to you?

Take time to evaluate your life. Maybe you need to change something, maybe you need to change everything. Think more of the now, instead of the then or the next.

You can do it. You can heal at your own time. Want it though. Have the desire in your heart to truly heal.

Then after you’ve been healed, be an inspiration to others who need healing. 🙂

A good day to you!