Think about you, too.

She was thinking about the chaos in her country. A group of terrorists attacked and almost got a hold of an entire city. It has been days and yet the war still goes on. There are still some civilians trapped in the area.

She was thinking of her family. They are not currently in the best condition. Being unemployed bother her and she feels like she’s no use in their house. She was also thinking about other people and how they view her and how they may judge her for her life decisions.

She was thinking too much. She was thinking a lot but snap! Why was she not thinking about herself?

For how many times, I’ve talked about how life can get painful. I’ve also talked about self-love. Sadly, when the former becomes too much, the latter hides behind the curtains. We tend to forget about ourselves when utter chaos hit our world. Actually, even the act of thinking too much about so many things is in itself destructive to ourselves.

If the things you worry about need your attention, let me tell you and so do you. Other people can attend to those other things but who will attend to you? It should be you too.

What we should do is to detach. Think about you and detach from everything else for a while. Detach and de-stress. Give yourself a permission to do these not just because you want to but because you need too. We all need to relax and re-energize.

Whatever would make you feel relaxed is up to you. You do it. You do it, especially during those times when it seems to be the least important thing to do because your plate is full. If you miss to find relaxation during those times, stress may build up in you.

Just don’t forget about yourself. Go backstage every time you have a chance, and do what you could do there to give yourself the love and care that you need and deserved.

Stressed or Anxious? (Part 1)

Ever since I’d begun this blog, I am hesitant in writing about this topic for the simple reason that while talking about it, I may feel it. Stress and anxiety were two of the not good things in life. Just the word anxiety makes me anxious tbh so let’s see how far I’ll go with this post. I’m hoping that it could be helpful still. Alright…

Since I’m scared of the word “anxiety”, I referred to myself as so stressed whenever I feel anxious. It’s almost the same anyway. Stress is one of the causes of anxiety. When you over think, you get stressed. When you get too stressed, you get anxious. Over thinking, I personally believe, is the main cause of anxiety. Other causes include physical condition, tension (which may also be caused by stress), fearful incidents, and genetics.

Anxiety can be felt mentally, physically, and both. When thoughts come in and in and in, and you feel like you’re losing control over them, that’s anxiety. When your heart’s palpitating with no reason and you feel an unexplainable tension, pain, or any physical sensation, that may also be anxiety. It’s different for everyone. But if you experience it, hey, you’re not alone. Also, don’t worry too much. There are ways on how you can cope with it. You’ll be well. Every episode shall pass.

I’m also hesitant to share this post because I worry that someone I personally know may read it and then, worry about me. Please don’t.

Anxiety, just like other illnesses, can be prevented through the following. A disclaimer though, I’m not an expert; these information were based from my experiences and the things I read.

  • Meditation

Meditation is a form of mind training. Its main purpose is to bring us back to the “now”. It trains the mind to focus in the moment and cut the train of thoughts that do not help us. The concept of meditation is not ignoring thoughts (no matter absurd); it’s about trying not to judge them so that we’ll be able to control them and not the other way around.

I used the mobile application “Calm” to meditate every night. This is basically how you meditate: (1) find a quiet place to sit down, (2) close your eyes and begin to breathe deeply in and out, (3) put all your focus on the flow of your breathing, (4) breathe normally and concentrate on your breathing for 5-10 minutes, (5) bring your focus back in the room you’re in, then (6) gently open your eyes.

  • Gratitude

Anxiety roots from negative thinking and so, to combat it, you need to be positive. I like another mobile app, “Bliss“. It’s an app that allows you to appreciate what you have to increase your happiness and improve the quality of your life. Another disclaimer, I’m not paid by any of these applications. I find them helpful so I’m sharing them with you.

Bliss has many options. You can list three things you’re thankful about daily or just write in a paragraph form the things and people you’re grateful about. You may also re-imagine a not so good situation and turn it into good. Each activity could really help us remove our focus on the things that are not working out, in our lives as well as our daily worries.

  • Rest

So simple yet not all of us does it. I’ve read that we experience anxiety episodes when our bodies were trying to tell us something. My body told me on the last day of 2015 that my blood glucose level is high through an anxiety episode. It’s not always that extreme though. Most of the time, we get anxious because our body needed rest.

We should acknowledge that we also have limitations. A machine will malfunction if used beyond its capability and so will a human body. When you’re tired, rest. You won’t stop, you will just take a break. You don’t have to sleep, you could just take a nap.

  • Pamper Yourself

Each of us needed relaxation. Each of us deserves pampering. Not all of us has the means to go to spas or massage therapists I know. But we definitely can still relax.

Here’s what I do when I pamper myself: (1) clean my nails and paint them, (2) light scented candles [strawberry and grapes] and massage my head, (3) put on face mask, (4) exfoliate my skin with milk salt, and sometimes (5) listen to ASMR through YouTube.

  • Express Yourself

Don’t hold onto your emotions and thoughts. Release them through different mediums. You could write them in your diary, blog about them, or talk to your friends or family about them. You could also indirectly release your stressors through drawing, painting, baking, singing, or any activity that works best for you.

Let it go! Let it go! Don’t hold it back anymore. (Let It Go from Frozen)

  • Yoga

Anyone can do yoga. Everyone should do yoga. Yoga is not only a great physical activity that can help us tone our body, it is also a form of mental training and relaxation. Yoga includes different poses; each focusing on one or more organs of our bodies. It also includes different breathing techniques that could help relieve stress and anxiety.

I do yoga with the help of the mobile apps “Yoga Monkey” and “Sworkit“, and  “Yoga with Adriene”  on YouTube.

  • Workout

There are different workouts that help us become fitter. Aside from their benefits for our body, it also has positive benefits for our thoughts and emotions. Working out may help us clear our mind and whenever we work out, we release endorphins (also referred as “happy hormones”).

I know we tend to be really busy with our daily lives and sometimes we no longer have the energy to workout after a day of work. We can always start small like 5 minutes of warm-up cardio before we head onto the shower every morning. The app “Sworkit” helped me plan my workout routines for every week.

  • Seek God

To me, knowing that there’s someone out there gives me hope and security. I trust that He will always save me from my troubles. I read Bible daily and other devotional books. I also pray all the time.

That’s all for this part. On part 2, I’ll share with you the things we can do when we’re having our visitors.

I want to end this post with my current favorite quote.

*Hey guys, if you are going to comment, please be very careful as I am pretty sensitive. I’d like to be of help by sharing to you the knowledge that I have acquired. For now, that’s all the help I could offer.

I am always guilty.

I am so stressed and then I thought, “What is this journal for?”

I hate myself for always being guilty because let’s be honest guilt doesn’t do anything for us but stress us out. I am guilty for leading this kind of life, sedentary.

I am guilty for ignoring my nephew because I want to finish cleaning the house asap. I am guilty for not being a good person, a good daughter, a good sister. I am guilty for not allotting more time worshiping God and for not being 100% sincere when I am worshiping him.

I am guilty for hoarding lots of books that now just rest in my room; I should’ve used the money for more productive things. I am guilty for being guilty over the things I shouldn’t be really guilty about. I feel very guilty for telling people what they’ve done wrong and hurting their feelings unintentionally.

I am guilty for hating life. I am guilty for acting like a motivational person in this blog but the fact is, I am absolutely not. If you’ll know what I do in a day, you’ll be inspired to lay on your bed all day with your phone. I am guilty for being a pretender, pretending that everything’s okay when obviously it’s not.

I am guilty for causing my body to be sick. I am guilty for causing myself to be sad. I am guilty.

I know I need to forgive myself. I know I need to release all these stressors. I know I should give my mind a break.

This is too much for me. If you’re like me, it’s too much for you too. If life’s already unpleasant, let’s no longer add anymore unpleasant thoughts and emotions. Instead, let’s fight out unpleasant life. Giving up ain’t an option.

A Flow of Thoughts

Life is a series of what ifs and more questions. We are not meant to understand everything. What we’re meant to do is live. Just live…

Live your life the way you see fit. You can be a humanitarian who fights for human rights and who helps people in need. You can be an artist, always inside his own world; if outside, always looking for an inspiration; people, honestly, do not appeal to you that much. You can be someone of strong faith; you want to inspire people to believe to and love God and one another. You can be an atheist too who’s of good nature anyway; you help people without thinking that you’ll end up in heaven.

Anything. Basically, anything. We can be anything. And as long as we don’t hurt ourselves nor other people, I believe there’s nothing wrong with that. Let us not deprive ourselves of our passion, of that freedom to do our passion. Let’s give ourselves the serenity of being happy by living life as how we feel like living it.

Sadness, hopelessness, worries, fears… Oh! Who does not feel them? We all feel them. We feel them all. And that’s normal. It is normal to be sensitive sometimes and insensitive other times. It is normal to be grateful of the silliest, littlest things and then, ungrateful for the big ones. It is normal to be mad and be forgiving. It is normal to make mistakes, hurt others or yourself. It is perfectly normal to have so many emotions and even to get overwhelmed by these emotions. You got to snap back though; you got to take yourself back to the present. You got to release all your negative emotions and embrace the positive ones–those you need.

Don’t wish for a perfectly happy life for that kind of life has never existed. Wish for a strong heart, a brave mind, a great you who can get pass through all the obstacles in your life. Be a you who can wipe your tears after a good cry, a you who knows how to forgive yourself for every stupid things you’ve done, a you who is nice to everyone even if not everyone’s nice to you, a you who knows who s/he is, a you who loves her/himself, a you who appreciates what life is and everything in it.

Along the way, you’ll fall–whoever you are or however great you are. We’re all destined to fall. Not all of us knows how to stand back up though; know. Mold yourself into someone who’s ready to surpass a great fall. Be stronger than that fall.

And for those who can’t still stand up, now is the time to do it. Slowly but surely. Find a foundation that can help you stand on your feet. Find it now. And then hold onto it, grab it with all your might. Stand up. Stand up and then move forward. You can do it. Even if it seems impossible, so long as you’re breathing, you can.

Yes, so long as there’s life, we can… We can be what we want to become. We can be awesome. We can be great. We can be happy. We can love and be loved. We can… People, it’s time we live… really live.

These days…

There are these days when I am reminded of my disease-diabetes. I woke up with headache, nausea, and body pain. I planned to jog outside but I know I couldn’t. I hate having limitations but what can I do? It’s part of my life now.

There are these days, these days when I can’t help but cry. I couldn’t help but be eaten by regrets again and fears. I couldn’t help but ask, wonder why I should be the one experiencing all these. I am not a bad person. I act stupid or I am tackless at times but I never wish to hurt other people. I know it’s my doing for being like this but won’t I get any help?

There are these days when you just question everything. Why are the bad things keep on happening? Why are my efforts not producing any fruits? Why do I feel unloved? Am I unloved?

There are these days when you just want to succumb to all your heartaches and then give up your hopes.

There are these days when temptations are too strong.

These days…

These days are exactly when we should hold on to our dreams and hopes like we’ve never held them before.

These days are the days when when need to be optimistic and let that optimism grab us and take us out of the mud pit.

These days are the challenges, the obstacles in our lives.

These days are what will make us appreciate the better days…

Be BRAVE.

Brevity. It’s a form of self-love.

Learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all. (Greatest Love of All by Whitney Houston)

Don’t let people affect you, your life, and your life decisions. Whatever you do, do it for yourself, do it because it’s what’s inside you.

Don’t let anyone bully you. If someone push you down, stand up; dust yourself off; and move forward. If they come back, call them for it. Call the cops, the authority. You don’t deserve to get hurt. No one has any right to hurt you, whether physically or emotionally. Be strong and fight them as you should.

Let people look down on you. Let them judge you. At the end of the day, it’s not your business. It’s their choice to use their time, their life in finding what’s ugly and what’s lacking in other people. You also don’t have to reciprocate their “kindness” by doing the same to them. Use your time for better things.

Don’t let life mess with you too. It will try to over and over and over again. Nothing could stop it but you gotta be strong. Be inspired by the oldest tree you know; despite everything that’s happening in it and around it, it’s still standing, proudly standing as if the strongest hurricane could never faze it.

Be brave. Be strong. Your life depends on you. Be brave to find your happiness. Be strong to hold onto it so dearly.

🙂

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It’s OK to not be OK.

Last night, I messaged a trustworthy friend and told her about my problems. I was a bit depressed last night, to be honest. I woke up today with a long message from her. She reminded me that it’s okay to not be okay. We’re all humans, humans who feel both positive and negative emotions.

From meditation practices that I’ve done in the past year, I’d learned that we should be just observers of our emotions. We should not let them influence us. We should acknowledge the moments we feel sad, happy, mad, and scared and realize too that these emotions are not permanent. They come and go. It’s like traveling and seeing these emotions along the journey but not letting them hitch in the car and direct our way. We just say hi to them and proceed.

I may be feeling down right now, lacking of self belief, and having anxieties for my future but I gain hope and peace in the fact that this all shall pass. These emotions and thoughts are all part of life, not beautiful they may be. They’re part of living.

Sometimes, there is really no need to overanalyze things. We just have to accept that they’re happening but also, acknowledge the fact that there’s no need to cling onto them. Even if you’re not feeling okay, it’s okay. All is well. You’ll be okay sooner or later.

If enduring is needed, go ahead and do it. If crying is needed, allow your eyes to do just that. If you needed to release the anger, shout. If the emotions are overwhelming, breath in and out… Don’t let any emotion overcome you. Keep your grip on the steering wheel tightly. Look ahead. Keep driving. It’s all good.

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